Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Loving and Serving Singles

Did you know we have around 37 single sisters in our ward?

In a church that emphasizes family and marriage it surely must be challenging. Below are a series of articles from a single woman in the church writing for Meridian Magazine, that can bring us more understanding.


Erin Ann McBride, Meridian Magazine, Seven Ways to Better Serve Singles
I can't write the truth about single life as it applies to every person. Everyone is unique, everyone has their own set of standards, and everyone interacts with people differently. But at the same time, there are large, sweeping generalities that hold true across most societies. And how the LDS society views and treats singles is one of those generalities....
Failure #6 - Us against them mentality. The Almighty Marrieds.

I regularly get asked how can “we” minister to the singles better. Every time I hear this I want to stomp a foot. Why? Because it is that “we the marrieds who run this place and know so much more than you” mentality that kills me. The question shouldn't be, “what can WE do to help the singles?” It should be, plain and simple, “what are we not doing to better get to know, and include this left out part of our flock?”

Singles are humans too. Please stop thinking of them as aberrations. We have jobs (hopefully), money problems, personal problems, car troubles, ward callings (hopefully), stress, etc just like everyone else. Stop talking about the one thing you cannot change for them-- whether or not someone else finds them attractive. And start talking about their temporal and spiritual needs.

Solution #6 - Stop treating the singles differently. And stop identifying them by their marital status. Identify them for who they really are.
Read the whole article to find out what the other 6 ways are.

Erin Ann McBride, Meridian Magazine, I'm single. I'm happy. And you can be too.
To find happiness and contentment in our lives, no matter our situation, is often the ultimate challenge. Whether it be the family dealing with financial downturn, or an infertile couple longing for a child, or the desperate desire to find love and a mate, the challenge is to find “joy in the journey,” even when the journey is not the one we expected or wanted to take.

...Being single is not a limitation or condemnation. It is the opportunity to expand and do more, while living a Gospel-centered life. Marriage does not solve any one’s problems. Marriage alone will not make you happy. You must be happy with who you are above all else. Find joy in your journey!  

Erin Ann McBride, Meridian Magazine, Fitting in When You’re a Single Square Peg in a Round Hole Made for Two.
How sad is it that the majority of people have never bothered to read the 97 columns obviously written for singles. We all know why they haven't done it- they aren't single. It didn't apply to them. Why should they bother?

And yet the majority of these people think that singles need to buck up and involve themselves more in activities and lessons not geared towards them.

So today we return to our regularly scheduled programming, and speak directly to the singles.

How can we better involve ourselves? How can we fit in and find happiness as a square peg in a round hole?
Why Some Single LDS Men Stay That Way: Their Frank Opinions

Women, listen up. We're going to let the men do the talking today. Find out how LDS single men answered these questions:

- What is your chief complaint about LDS single women over 30?
- What is the one thing you would like to change about LDS single women over 30?
- Do you find that LDS single women over 30 expect too much from men?

I've learned a lot from reading these articles. Not that I won't put my foot in my mouth now and then. Yet I think we can all do a little better with understanding each other and our individual circumstances and we can all be a little more sensitive to that.


More articles by Erin Ann McBride 

Photo credit

No comments:

Post a Comment

Share your thoughts, but please be respectful.