Don't Miss this Special Opportunity! Women's General Auxiliary Meeting!

We hope you can join us for the upcoming Women's General Auxiliary Meeting on Saturday, May 17th!

For sisters in the RS, YW, and Primary presidencies, there will be a training from 2-5pm.

ALL sisters ages 12 and older are invited to attend a special fireside with the General Auxiliary leaders from 6:30-8pm at the Broomall building.

Come to be edified and uplifted as we join together to learn from the General Women's leaders of the Church!

**If you are able to provide rides to any of the young women whose mothers will already be at the stake center, please let a member of the RS presidency know. Thank you! **

Uniting Sisters Worldwide

Maybe you heard the recent announcement about changes to the annual General Relief Society Meeting/Young Women Meeting. Check out the November 2013 article, First Presidency Announces New General Women’s Meeting. The article states that "The general women’s meeting will be held the Saturday before each general conference and will be conducted by the general presidencies of the Relief Society, Young Women, and Primary organizations. All women, young women, and girls age eight years old and older will be invited to attend."

How exciting for the opportunity to have women of all ages in the same room, learning together about what it means to be a Daughter of God!

In the past week, there have been even more changes in the auxiliary programs of the Church (Primary, Young Women, and Relief Society) in order to reach more sisters worldwide and unify efforts to serve the women, young women, children, and families of the Church. As a way to represent Young Women and leaders internationally, the newly called Young Women general board includes members outside of Utah and outside of the United States. 

Additionally, auxiliary training "will now be delivered to sisters worldwide through an integrated, global, web-based training effort that will be provided in key languages." The auxiliary training used to take place in Salt Lake in conjunction with the April General Conference. The new worldwide training will be held at the beginning of June, so as to allow the general auxiliary leaders the opportunity to be inspired by recent General Conference messages as they prepare for the training. 

Check out the Church News article to learn more about the growth and changes that will affect all of us and our families! Auxiliary Changes Designed to Unify Sisters Worldwide

Sister Rosemary M. Wixom, Primary general president; Sister Bonnie L. Oscarson, Young Women general president; and Sister Linda K. Burton, Relief Society general president, talk about changes that will help their organizations reach out to a growing international Church membership.

What's this about wearing pants to church?

Maybe you've seen something on your social media networks about this call to wear pants to church tomorrow.

I caught wind of it on Twitter and decided to do some reading, to get me some "edumacation."

Mormon Women Declare “Wear Pants to Church Day” December 16
"A new Mormon feminist organization called “All Enlisted” has declared Sunday, December 16 “Wear Pants to Church Day”—an event conceived as an expression of Mormon feminist visibility and solidarity and a gentle challenge to traditional gender inequalities in Mormonism."

Ask a Feminist: What do you feel is unequal in the church?
"I recognize that some of these issues are church wide, some local, and some unchangeable. Some of them are simple and some of them are deeply ingrained. All of them, nevertheless, make me feel unequal and are worth talking about." See article for full list.

The Worst Thing Is Pants
The Worst Thing Is Pants, Part II
"It's about our hearts. It's not about the pants."

Wearing Pants
"What I am doing is listening to other women’s stories about how they feel at church, and telling my own. It means that I’m participating in discussions and thought experiments that analyze cultural and institutional problems and explore possibilities to change things for the better."

Mormon women plan 'Wear Pants to Church Day’, Salt Lake Tribune

Mormon women wearing pants love the gospel, Washington Post

Poll: Pants in church? Who cares?, Utah Daily Herald

Hmm, food for thought. Hope you were able to see several points of view, before making a judgement.

In my view:
It's not really about pants vs. dresses, is it.

It's about inclusion..."I see you." "I hear you."

It's about opening our eyes, asking questions, having conversations.

It's about breaking down cultural traditions that make others feel unequal. Whether or not you are bothered by the inequities in our Mormon culture, some are. Those inequities do exist, more or less, in our wards and stakes.

It's not about choosing sides. It's about making church life better for all women.

It's influence and persuasion to make things better, to improve a lay church with lay leaders, to seek for a broader view and more awareness.

It's about having a voice and being heard, or maybe just listening and supporting those that do speak up.

It's about caring for the welfare of our souls. (Words of wisdom. Thanks A.!)

It's about lifting all.

A rising tide lifts all boats.

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Untold Stories of Mormon Women

Be heard!

Two LDS Church historians are on a quest to tell the world about the inspirational lives of Mormon women.


Richard E. Turley Jr., an assistant church historian and recorder, and Brittany A. Chapman, a historian in the Church History Library, are serving as the editors for a new series of books titled "Women of Faith in the Latter Days." Because half of the people in the history of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have been women, the purpose of the project is to bring to light their untold accounts of faith and dedication, both past and present.

"Most of history we've created focuses on men. We've recognized a huge gap there that needs to be filled," Turley said.

For now the two editors are preparing seven volumes. Each volume in the series will contain 50 chapters of 10 pages each on women throughout history and from around the world. The target audience is the general membership of the LDS Church. The source of each story, however, is what makes the project unique.

"We are asking for submissions from public," Chapman said. "A lot of times the same women have been talked about in church history, whereas other women may be famous only in their families. Finally their story gets to be told, and that's exciting."

Article in Mormon Times
www.ldswomenoffaith.org

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From Deb's RS lesson yesterday:

Now, what is our potential influence as we and our sisters across the Earth rally together for the cause of Jesus Christ?

Consider the collective power of one.

What if every woman in Relief Society living near a temple went to the temple just one extra time this year? How much more revelation would flow into the homes of the Church?

Or, what if we each did one thing this month to improve our ability to hear the voice of the Lord? Or one thing to become more pure? Or tuned out one talk show and studied scriptures instead? Or traded one lunch with friends for a day doing family history? Or went to cheer on one Laurel you're not related to.

Notice how many times I have said or?

What is one thing you could do?

Sheri Dew, from Arise, Arise, and Come Unto Christ, May 1, 2008 @ BYU Women's Conference
Photo Credit

Lesson: Daughters in My Kingdom

Teachings for Our Time
Daughters in My Kingdom:The History and Work of Relief Society
Julie B. Beck, taught by Deb Chiapelli

[Here are a few exerpts from the Conference talk, but I encourage you to read the whole talk again if you have time.]

Each of you is precious beyond description and known by our Heavenly Father. As daughters of God, you are preparing for eternal designations, and each of you has a female identity, nature, and responsibility. The success of families, communities, this Church, and the precious plan of salvation is dependent on your faithfulness. Oh, dear sisters, how we love and pray for you!

A warning
Myths and misperceptions regarding the strength, purpose, and position of Latter-day Saint women abound. Prevailing myths imply that we are of lower importance than men, that we are generally sweet but uninformed, and that no matter what we do, we will never be enough to be accepted by our Heavenly Father.

In the growing climate of entitlement, excuse, apathy, and enticement, daughters of God who are not watchful, prayerful, and inspired are increasingly at risk of becoming what the scriptures describe as “silly women” who worship a variety of “strange gods.” Sadly, as a result of life’s difficulties and the world’s popular heresies, many sisters believe the myths more than the truth.

A defense and refuge

In order to watch over, teach, and inspire His daughters in these perilous times, God authorized the Prophet Joseph Smith to organize the women of the Church.

Relief Society clarifies our work and unifies us as daughters of God in defense of His plan. In this day of mistaken identities, confusion, and distraction, Relief Society is meant to be a compass and guide to teach the truth to faithful women. Righteous women today seek an outpouring of revelation to resist distractions, fight evil and spiritual destruction, and rise above personal disasters by increasing their faith, strengthening their families, and providing relief to others.

Our history
Our presidency has prayed, fasted, pondered, and counseled with prophets, seers, and revelators to learn what God would have us do to help His daughters be strong in the face of “the calamity which should come upon the inhabitants of the earth.”

An answer has come that the sisters of the Church should know and learn from the history of Relief Society. Understanding the history of Relief Society strengthens the foundational identity and worth of faithful women.

In consequence of this, a history of Relief Society for the Church is being completed and will be available for our use next year. In anticipation of this, Relief Society history is receiving increased attention, such as on the visiting teaching page of the Liahona and the Ensign. The preparation of the history has been an inspired and revelatory experience.

As we have studied the history of Relief Society, we have learned that the Lord’s vision and purpose for Relief Society was not of a sleepy meeting on Sunday. He had in mind something much, much bigger than a women’s club or special-interest entertainment group.

He intended Relief Society to help build His people and prepare them for the blessings of the temple. He established this organization to align His daughters with His work and to enlist their help in building His kingdom and strengthening the homes of Zion.

Our history teaches us who we are and what we are to do. It unites us and can help us change.

There is a worldwide hunger among good women to know their identity, value, and importance.

We are as disciples and followers of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Our Heavenly Father knows His daughters. He loves them, He has given them specific responsibilities, and He has spoken to and guided them during their mortal missions.

It has always been a responsibility of Relief Society to participate in the work of salvation.

Personal service builds each individual sister, and the united service of millions of faithful women creates a formidable force of faith in the Lord’s work.

Through the history and work of Relief Society, we are connected to a great worldwide sisterhood of young and old, rich and poor, educated and illiterate, single and married, strong and immovable daughters of God.

Ultimately, the value of history is not so much in its dates, times, and places. It is valuable because it teaches us the principles, purposes, and patterns we are to follow, it helps us know who we are and what we are to do, and it unites us in strengthening the homes of Zion and building the kingdom of God on the earth.

As we move the Lord’s work forward, the history of Relief Society will continue to be written by faithful sisters throughout the world. The Lord is strengthening Relief Society in the living present and preparing a glorious future for His daughters.

Thanks for your lesson Deb.

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Notes from Sister Beck's Fireside

 

While I took notes, I know many of you did too and would love for you to add what you heard here too.

 

The Friday Fireside

We had the privilege of hearing from Sister Beck, General Relief Society President, on Friday, May 21 in a fireside at the Valley Forge Stake center. The format of the meeting was essentially questions and answers.

Sister Beck said she loves meetings like this because hearing from the members keeps the church leaders real and connected.

Q.  How are the General Auxiliary Boards chosen and what do they do?

A.  D&C 107:98 - Whereas other officers of the church, who belong not unto the Twelve, neither to the Seventy, are not under the responsibility to travel among all nations, but are to travel as their circumstances shall allow, notwithstanding they may hold as high and responsible offices in the church.

There are five auxiliaries of the church that operate under the direction of the first presidency...Relief Society, Young Women, Primary, Sunday School and Aaronic PH/Young Men each with a general board.

There of 10 women on the Relief Society Board and are called to share the work. When the Presidency is released the board is released. They share the duties of the work. They are often women the presidency knew before. The board is the "farm team" for Presidencies. Sister Beck was a member of the YW board before being called to be the General Relief Society president.

Q. In a recent talk you spoke about developing the skill or ability to receive revelation as the most important ability to develop. Can you speak more about that?

A. Revelation is the Lord's way to teach us. We should crave it. The crassness of the world makes it difficult. Revelation is the key to understanding things of God. It quickens our minds and bodies.We could feel weak but the Spirit gives us power.

D&C 133:58-59 - To prepare the weak for those things which are coming on the earth, and for the Lord’s errand in the day when the weak shall confound the wise, and the little one become a strong nation, and two shall put their tens of thousands to flight. And by the weak things of the earth the Lord shall thresh the nations by the power of his Spirit.

Keeping the Spirit is hard when life isn't perfect. Sister Beck tells of babsitting grandchildren and trying to prepare for a talk about the Spirit. One of her granddaughters cried and screamed for hours. When she spoke to the sisters later that day she realized God had given her that experience to help her understand how it is for the young moms she was speaking to.

D&C 11: 12-14 - And now, verily, verily, I say unto thee, put your trust in that Spirit which leadeth to do good—yea, to do justly, to walk humbly, to judge righteously; and this is my Spirit. Verily, verily, I say unto you, I will impart unto you of my Spirit, which shall enlighten your mind, which shall fill your soul with joy; And then shall ye know, or by this shall you know, all things whatsoever you desire of me, which are pertaining unto things of righteousness, in faith believing in me that you shall receive.

 Q.  What is there for single sisters over 30 in the church?

A. Establish spiritual habits. Think of it as training. What training? Sister Beck's 86-year-old mother is dealing with being a widow during the last year. Her years of scripture study, praying every morning, and temple covenants and attendance continue to help her. The pattern pays off.

Also we all need to help each other create, support and sustain marriage.

Young Women feel the loss of the cheering and clapping for them that stops when they go to Relief Society. But when we make covenants in the temple to give our all to building up the kingdom, the focus is no longer on ourselves. We don't need to be noticed but need to turn and help others and serve.

D&C 84:20 - Therefore, in the ordinances thereof, the power of godliness is manifest.

When we become a covenant people we have a lot more to give than we get. Help each other, sustain one another, look out for each other.

Other tidbits:
Scripture study: As a young mother commit yourself to spend some time every day in the scriptures, even if it's just one verse. They will have a cumulative effect on your life. She like to get a cheap copy of the Book of Mormon, write a question in the front, read with that in mind and write the answers in the back as she goes.

Tough economy: Don't spend more than you bring in. Read the pamphlet "All Is Safely Gathered In". Get out of debt. When you are out of debt you will be able to better serve.

Role of women in the church: The Lord expects his daughters to contribute equally to building the kingdom. Choosing the good part means being a part of the work. LDS women serve on councils, in presidencies, and in organizations in 30,000 units worldwide.

Help for those in need: The Bishop has a "toolbox" to help those in need...employment services, welfare, and Addiction Recovery Program. Do you believe you can be healed? Matt. 9:27-28 - And when he was come into the house, the blind men came to him: and Jesus saith unto them, Believe ye that I am able to do this? They said unto him, Yea, Lord. Then touched he their eyes, saying, According to your faith be it unto you.

Feel free to post what you remembered.

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Missed BYU Women's Conference?

You can view the episodes from this year and years past here at BYUtv.

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Loving and Serving Singles

Did you know we have around 37 single sisters in our ward?

In a church that emphasizes family and marriage it surely must be challenging. Below are a series of articles from a single woman in the church writing for Meridian Magazine, that can bring us more understanding.

----------------------

Erin Ann McBride, Meridian Magazine, Seven Ways to Better Serve Singles

I can't write the truth about single life as it applies to every person. Everyone is unique, everyone has their own set of standards, and everyone interacts with people differently. But at the same time, there are large, sweeping generalities that hold true across most societies. And how the LDS society views and treats singles is one of those generalities....

Failure #6 - Us against them mentality. The Almighty Marrieds.

I regularly get asked how can “we” minister to the singles better. Every time I hear this I want to stomp a foot. Why? Because it is that “we the marrieds who run this place and know so much more than you” mentality that kills me. The question shouldn't be, “what can WE do to help the singles?” It should be, plain and simple, “what are we not doing to better get to know, and include this left out part of our flock?”

Singles are humans too. Please stop thinking of them as aberrations. We have jobs (hopefully), money problems, personal problems, car troubles, ward callings (hopefully), stress, etc just like everyone else. Stop talking about the one thing you cannot change for them-- whether or not someone else finds them attractive. And start talking about their temporal and spiritual needs.

Solution #6 - Stop treating the singles differently. And stop identifying them by their marital status. Identify them for who they really are.

Read the whole article to find out what the other 6 ways are.

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Erin Ann McBride, Meridian Magazine, I'm single. I'm happy. And you can be too.

To find happiness and contentment in our lives, no matter our situation, is often the ultimate challenge. Whether it be the family dealing with financial downturn, or an infertile couple longing for a child, or the desperate desire to find love and a mate, the challenge is to find “joy in the journey,” even when the journey is not the one we expected or wanted to take.

...Being single is not a limitation or condemnation. It is the opportunity to expand and do more, while living a Gospel-centered life. Marriage does not solve any one’s problems. Marriage alone will not make you happy. You must be happy with who you are above all else. Find joy in your journey!  

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Erin Ann McBride, Meridian Magazine, Fitting in When You’re a Single Square Peg in a Round Hole Made for Two.

How sad is it that the majority of people have never bothered to read the 97 columns obviously written for singles. We all know why they haven't done it- they aren't single. It didn't apply to them. Why should they bother?

And yet the majority of these people think that singles need to buck up and involve themselves more in activities and lessons not geared towards them.

So today we return to our regularly scheduled programming, and speak directly to the singles.

How can we better involve ourselves? How can we fit in and find happiness as a square peg in a round hole?

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Why Some Single LDS Men Stay That Way: Their Frank Opinions

Women, listen up. We're going to let the men do the talking today. Find out how LDS single men answered these questions:

- What is your chief complaint about LDS single women over 30?
- What is the one thing you would like to change about LDS single women over 30?
- Do you find that LDS single women over 30 expect too much from men?
--------------------

I've learned a lot from reading these articles. Not that I won't put my foot in my mouth now and then. Yet I think we can all do a little better with understanding each other and our individual circumstances and we can all be a little more sensitive to that.

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More articles by Erin Ann McBride 


Photo credit

Video: 195 Dresses

Have you ever noticed how hard it is to find a modest prom dress? One young woman in Arizona came up with a solution for her community.

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Mormon Poet Emma Lou Thayne: On Going Away

My spiritual life withers in too much togetherness,
just as it thrives in quiet.

I traveled with my husband and family and with tennis players and members of boards. I spoke to groups across the country, always to be met and taken care of. My life was full. And I was dying. In all my busyness, something was missing that I could not name.

When I was accepted for a poetry symposium in Port Townsend, Wash., with some persuasion, my husband agreed. There, just an anonymous one of dozens of poets, living in a sparse single room in an old barracks, I learned to find space to pay a different kind of attention. I had time to focus on details and moments, not generalities. I had time to reexamine, to revise, to reinvent my sense of the world. And it was joyous fun! On the saltwater shores of Puget Sound, I learned to breathe in the "full measure of my creation."

Knowing is a process, not an arrival. Coming home, I struggled with how to be available to the many and the much I love and still be true to myself and to what solitude had offered me. The clarity of what I had learned pushed me to find spaces to be alone. I rented a little studio close to home to go to one day and night a week. I was accepted by writing retreats in Virginia, Illinois and Florida that were sponsored and inexpensive enough that I felt guiltless about going. I accepted offers from friends to visit their unused places. My family adjusted to my absences and learned that spaces in our togetherness made room for more relished time together. And I claimed the space to be all I can be.

Read the full article at the Huffington Post to find out what Emma Lou Thayne has to say about staying up all night!

More about Emma Lou Thayne:
Mormon Literature Database
A Woman of Gentle Strength
Emma Lou Thayne - Alive Again

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Sister Beck: The Role of Women in God's Plan

Sister Beck just spoke to an audience of 10,000 in Rexburg, Idaho. Read the full article here.

On our role:

“We … are engaged in the work of salvation,” she said. “I hope that was one of the clear messages that came through in all the leadership training meetings we’ve had.”

... “Relief Society is part of that,” she said. “We don’t plan anything; we don’t do anything that is outside of the Lord’s work of salvation.”

On finding balance:

“We know there are some essential things that must be taken care of if we are going to achieve eternal life,” she said. “To get the spirit and know what that is we’re going to have to read the scriptures, and pray every day, and go to the temple, and fast, and do the things the prophets have told us to do.”

She emphasized the importance of the Holy Ghost in prioritizing. “No woman ever has enough time, enough energy, and enough strength to do all the good things that are in her mind to do,” she said. “We have to have the help of the Holy Ghost to take care of what is most essential.”

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Why are Mormon homemakers so creative?

From One Eternal Round, found on Patheous:

Why are Mormon homemakers so creative? 

...Creatively producing things is good for our sense of self worth....

You probably saw the article on Salon.com a couple of weeks ago about the feminist who can’t stop reading Mormon housewife blogs. The author marvels at the creativity displayed on these blogs – beautiful homes, beautiful baked goods, beautiful photography. A lot of Mormon homemakers are extremely creative and productive. ...

...Blogging, baking, photography, and handicrafts are all things that can be done from home and can be self-taught, so perhaps that is why Mormon SAHMs specialize in them. But regardless of the form their creativity takes, they doing as President Uchtdorf said, and “[taking] the normal opportunities of … daily life and [creating] something of beauty and helpfulness.”

That’s a wonderful thing.

Don't you let anyone tell you otherwise!

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A Response

Remember this from last week: On Salon this week, in “Why I Can't Stop Reading Mormon Housewife Blogs," Emily Matchar admires the presentation of domesticity on popular “Mormon mommy blogs.”

Here is how the reaction and conversation is going. Thought you'd like a balanced view.

So, you say you like us Mormons, Eh Salon? 
What is happening here? Are we all so unhappy these days that a bunch of upbeat blogs portraying the positives of domesticity are such a freak show? Is it true what Emily said about most mommy blogs, that they "make parenthood seem like a vale of judgment and anxiety, full of words like 'guilt' and 'chaos' and 'BPA-free' and 'episiotomy?'" Are we seeing the backlash of the unhappiness-as-sophistication model?

Mormon, Muslim, Methodist ... spreading the word online

To many viewers, the LDS Church’s “I’m a Mormon” ad blitz seemed hip, refreshing and original.

The campaign, launched last year in nine U.S. cities, generated a lot of national buzz. Its short videos featured regular folks talking about their lives as doctors, skateboarders, tax attorneys, environmentalists, surfers or former felons before announcing that they are Mormons. Nary an Osmond to be seen.

It helped burst stereotypes of the Utah-based Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints by showing individual and diverse members expressing their spirituality.

Turns out, lots of other faiths take a similar tack.

Why I don't keep a mommy blog

While I love writing about lots of other things on this earth and beyond, and while I enjoy peeping at the crafty doings of other moms, I don’t blog about my domestic pursuits because in a world that’s at once as impersonal and voyeuristic as ours, I want the things I do at home to be just for the people I see and touch daily. I don’t want my home life to have a comments button, or ads in the sidebars. 

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Lesson: Handmaids

Julie B. Beck

“And upon the Handmaids in Those Days Will I Pour Out My Spirit” 

Ensign, May 2010, 10–12

Taught by Jill Fairchild

Personal Revelation
A good woman knows that she does not have enough time, energy, or opportunity to take care of all of the people or do all of the worthy things her heart yearns to do.

...But with personal revelation, she can prioritize correctly and navigate this life confidently.

Revelation can come hour by hour and moment by moment as we do the right things.

Relief Society—Teaching, Inspiring, and Strengthening
The Lord in His wisdom has provided a Relief Society to help His daughters in these latter days.

When Relief Society functions in an inspired way, it lifts women up and out of a troubled world and into a way of living that prepares them for the blessings of eternal life.

Through Relief Society, sisters can receive answers to their questions and be blessed by the combined spiritual power of all the sisters. Relief Society validates the true and eternal nature of daughters of God.

Eliza R. Snow:

Women should be women and not babies that need petting and correction all the time. I know we like to be appreciated but if we do not get all the appreciation which we think is our due, what matters? We know the Lord has laid high responsibility upon us, and there is not a wish or desire that the Lord has implanted in our hearts in righteousness but will be realize.

Measuring Success
We are doing well when we develop attributes of Christ and strive to obey His gospel with exactness.

We are doing well when we seek to improve ourselves and do our best.

We are doing well when we increase faith and personal righteousness, strengthen families and homes, and seek out and help others who are in need.

We know we are successful if we live so that we qualify for, receive, and know how to follow the Spirit.

These are a few soundbites from the talk, but be sure to read the whole thing. I find President Beck to be so uplifting and encouraging. I think you will too. And, thank to Jill for teaching. e

Lesson Recap: Righteous Choices and Unity

Based on a talk, Coming Together and Sustaining Each Other in Righteous Choices
By Renata Forste, BYU Women’s Conference 2010. Watch video

Sister Forste starts her talk quoting Paul in 1st Corinthians 1:10

Now I beseech you, [sisters], by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye all speak the same thing and that there be no divisions among you; but that ye be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.

Sister Forste breaks her talk into three parts.

First, she says: Paul admonishes the saints, that ye all speak the same thing and that there be no divisions among you.

When Paul directed the saints to speak the same thing, I do not believe that he was suggesting that we all think and be the same, but that we speak the same testimony. It is our testimony of Jesus Christ and the restoration that is the same—that is what unites us.

I was a graduate student at the University of Chicago back in the late 1980s, early 1990s. Mike and I lived in student housing on the south side of Chicago and attended the Hyde Park Ward. My first visiting teaching companion was Sister Cathy Stokes. She was the Relief Society president and a long-time south side resident. One of the first things Cathy had to teach me was how to parallel park!

Later, my companion was Sister Nancy Johnson, a new convert to the church. I remember sitting with Nancy in the humble home of Sister Susan Walker as we visit taught her. Susan was an older, very gracious woman and had grown up in the South during segregation.

Both my companion and sister Walker were African American, older, single sisters with whom – at least demographically—I had very little in common. Yet, as we sat and shared testimony of Joseph Smith and the restoration, I felt very close to these sisters. We spoke the same thing – the same spiritual language. I loved them, and I knew that they loved me.

In contrast, I didn’t feel the same connection with my fellow students at the university—even though we were very similar in terms of race, age, education, and socio-economic background.

We didn’t share or speak the same faith and testimony.

Sister Forste says: As covenant women, we come from all walks of life, all ages, marital statuses, incomes, education levels, race and ethnic backgrounds—but together, we speak the same simple testimony, we comfort each other and sustain each other in our mutual faith. Our testimony of Jesus Christ crosses all boundaries—political, racial, economic, and national. We are the same, as covenant daughters of God. That doesn’t mean we are the same in all of our life decisions, or even in how we live the principles of the gospel. Lord wants us all to return to him, but not in a straight line—meaning that the Lord doesn’t expect us to all be exactly alike.

We should come together as one.

To illustrate, here is a page from a phone book.

By itself, it is very weak and easy to tear. But on the Discovery Channel it was shown that if you interlock the pages from a phone book with those of another book it is almost impossible to separate the two books. On Myth Busters they drilled holes and put brackets and chains to secure the ends of the two interlocked books.

Amazingly it took 8000 pounds of pressure to pull the books apart!

This interlocking is similar to the command Alma gave the priests he ordained to minister to the people at the waters of Mormon: And he commanded them that there should be no contention one with another, but that they should look forward with one eye, having one faith and one baptism, having their hearts knit together in unity and in love one towards another.

Sister Forste says: Now think about the force of millions of Relief Society sisters from all over the world, perfectly joined together—their hearts knit together in unity. To be perfectly joined together—we are unstoppable. Satan won’t have Sheridan tanks big enough to pull us apart.

So how do we then become perfectly joined together?

Sister Forste explained: This is the second part of what Paul asked us to do.

She says to be perfectly joined together in the same mind, means that we willingly conform (or sustain each other) in humility. We become one in the body of Christ and if one member suffers, we suffer with them. If one member is honored, we rejoice with them.

Elder Pace, in an Ensign address said:

I am convinced that when we obtain a witness of who we really are and possess healthy feelings of self-worth because of it, our joy in the accomplishments of others is magnified. When that joy is felt, we should share it.

Being humble and rejoicing in the accomplishments of others does not mean we should lack confidence in ourselves.

One woman writer, in her article, Why Can’t Women Get Along?, noted that...

...secretly, we all have ideas of what the perfect woman is like; and when we see another woman possibly attaining even one of these attributes, outcome the claws.

But, she asks, is it jealousy of each other or a lack of confidence in ourselves?

She relates the story of talking with a couple of her friends about the perfect woman—each describing what they thought the perfect woman was like. What she realized was that they were each describing someone the complete opposite of themselves.

She said it’s us!

It’s not about what some other woman has that is stopping us from getting along with them. It’s what we feel we don’t have that is getting in the way.

She writes: What women need to learn is how to truly appreciate themselves for who they are and what makes them truly beautiful. Until we get there, we’ll never get to appreciating each other and building real friendships among ourselves.

In his talk, The Other Prodigal, Elder Holland said:

Who is it that whispers so subtly in our ear that a gift given to another somehow diminishes the blessings we have received?

Who makes us feel that if God is smiling on another, then He surely must somehow be frowning on us?

You and I both know who does this—it is the father of all lies.

It is Lucifer, our common enemy, whose cry down through the corridors of time is always and to everyone, “Give me thine honor.”

. . . As others seem to grow larger in our sight, we think we must therefore be smaller. So, unfortunately, we occasionally act that way.

Finally, Paul instructs us to be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.

To illustrate this, Sister Forste shares a very personal story.

Everyone who interviews for a faculty position at BYU has an interview with a general authority of the church. Over fifteen years ago in my interview, I raised the question about me, a mother, being employed at BYU. The general authority who interviewed me did two very important things. First, he reaffirmed the principles laid out in the Proclamation on the Family. Then he said, “You and your husband need to pray to Father in Heaven and decide what is best for your kingdom – that is your family.” And then he said, “I am happy to recommend you to teach at BYU.”

I came away from that experience with a testimony that we each must individually keep the commandments. As we are obedient, keep our covenants, pray and read the scriptures—we will receive personal revelation regarding how we, individually, should apply the principles of the gospel in our lives.

Remember sisters’ it is the friction or tension between the phone book pages that creates a force that holds the pages together.

As sisters in the gospel, our uniqueness as individuals can be a force binding us together or, can create contention that eventually pulls us apart. Being of the same mind does not mean we all make the exact same choices, but it does mean that we sustain each other in our decisions as individuals.

As covenant women, we should be as the Nephites after the coming of Christ as recorded in 4th Nephi, among whom there were not any manner of –ites; but they were in one, the children of Christ, and heirs to the kingdom of God… and surely there could not be a happier people among all the people who had been created by the hand of God.

We may not have it all together but together we have it all!

I love the sisters who are young and just joining us in Relief Society as they bring a fresh perspective to me and my testimony.

I love the sisters who are older and have substantial life experience. They testify that even in the darkest hour of our trials, “this too shall pass.” Their examples help me keep anchored in the Lord.

I love the sisters who worry over everything; it reminds me that only the Savior can bring peace in my life so I will go to my knees more often. My Grandpa used to say “worrying is like a rocking chair, you can do it all day and never get anywhere.”

I love the sisters who have raised children who have stayed true to the faith because they give me hope as I look at my children. They also give me ideas that I can use in my own home.

I love the sisters whose children are wayward, because they know and testify that the covenant will follow after these children and the Lord will bring about miracles in our lives. These Sisters get life experiences that our Heavenly Father has all the time.

I love the sisters who think they have perfect children because it reminds me to relax and know that image is not everything.

I love the sisters who have children that are wild and run all over. They remind me of the time my children were little and the sweet experiences I gained pouring out my heart to the Lord expressing feelings of inadequacy. He was with me during this time.

I love the sisters who don’t have children because they have taken the time to help me raise my children. I get to know mine, and have helped me to riven my children experiences that I have not. In our ward we have a couple of these wonderful couples and my boys love to spend time with them.

I love the sisters who have judged me; they remind me how it feels to be judged and that forgiveness is action not a thought.

I love the sisters who have forgiven me when I have judged them. They allow me to go back to the basics, feel sorry, say sorry and do better.

I love the sisters who feel they are obligated to speak their mind.

I love the sisters who forgive me when I speak my mind.

I love the sisters who have lost someone they dearly love; they understand when I cry over my losses and they testify to me that I will see my loved ones again. Through the sharing of their testimony, mine testimony is strengthened.

I love the sisters whose sing beautifully they bring a special spirit to our meetings that I really cannot.

I love the sisters who work outside of the home as they bring knowledge to our meetings and help to bridge a gap to the world that some of us don’t experience.

I love the sisters that serve me. They understand the true meaning of the pure love of Christ and seek to live His Gospel.

I love the sisters that allow me to serve them. Because of that service I am able to forget the problems in my life and allow the Savior to carry the burden and focus on the way he would have me live.

I love the sisters that are confident in the Lord. They have been bathed in the Atonement and know the sweet fruit therein. When Satan tries to remind them of their past, they boldly remind him of his future.

These are the sisters of our ward. I love you. Your Heavenly Father loves you; he testified that to me this past week.

I saw so many of your faces as I wrote these words.

We are the yellow pages unique in our lives, experiences, and application but we all have favor in our Heavenly Father's sight.

Please take time to learn this, know this, and treat yourself and your sister like the precious daughters of God you are.

Charity

Photo Credit

Lesson: Mothers and Daughters

Teachings for Our Time, by Jill Fairchild

Mothers and Daughters, Elder Ballard

 It is not for you to be led by the women of the world; it is for you to lead the … women of the world, in everything that is praise-worthy, everything that is God-like, everything that is uplifting and … purifying to the children of men.

There is nothing in this world as personal, as nurturing, or as life changing as the influence of a righteous woman.

Silly Women
Today I wish to give you young women some suggestions on how to take full advantage of your relationship with your mother.

It is, unfortunately, all too easy to illustrate the confusion and distortion of womanhood in contemporary society. Immodest, immoral, intemperate women jam the airwaves, monopolize magazines, and slink across movie screens—all while being celebrated by the world.

The Apostle Paul spoke prophetically of “perilous times” that will come in the last days and specifically referenced something that may have seemed particularly perilous to him: “silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts” (2 Timothy 3:1, 6).

Popular culture today often makes women look silly, inconsequential, mindless, and powerless. It objectifies them and disrespects them and then suggests that they are able to leave their mark on mankind only by seduction—easily the most pervasively dangerous message the adversary sends to women about themselves.

Role Model
...I urge you not to look to contemporary culture for your role models and mentors. Please look to your faithful mothers for a pattern to follow.

...Love your mother, my young sisters. Respect her. Listen to her. Trust her. She has your best interests at heart. She cares about your eternal safety and happiness. So be kind to her. Be patient with her imperfections, for she has them. We all do.

To Mothers

If the mothers are thrifty, so are their daughters. If the mothers are modest, so are the girls. If the mothers wear flip-flops and other casual clothing to sacrament meeting, so do their daughters. Mothers, your example is extremely important to your daughters—even if they don’t acknowledge it.

... Let me assure you that even when you think your daughter is not listening to a thing you say, she is still learning from you as she watches you to see if your actions match your words. As Ralph Waldo Emerson is believed to have said, “What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say”

Teach your daughters to find joy in nurturing children. This is where their love and talents can have the greatest eternal significance.

Mothers, teach your daughters that a faithful daughter of God avoids the temptation to gossip or judge one another.

...your daughters cannot entirely avoid the blatant sexual messages and enticements that surround them. You need to have frequent, open discussions during which you teach your daughters the truth about these issues.

For example, they need to understand that when they wear clothing that is too tight, too short, or too low cut, they not only can send the wrong message to young men with whom they associate, but they also perpetuate in their own minds the fallacy that a woman’s value is dependent solely upon her sensual appeal. This never has been nor will it ever be within the righteous definition of a faithful daughter of God. They need to hear this—clearly and repeatedly—from your lips, and they need to see it modeled correctly and consistently in your own personal standards of dress, grooming, and modest living.

Teach your daughters about things of the Spirit. Point them to the scriptures. Give them experiences that will help them cherish the blessing of priesthood power in their lives.

May God bless us to teach, nurture, and prepare one another within the walls of our homes for the great work that must be done by all of us now and in the future is my prayer in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

BYU Women's Conference

BYU Women’s Conference was the same week Daniel got married. (Unfortunately we paid more for our hotel room in Provo because of it, but, oh well.)

Every year I vow that I will go to Women’s Conference, Time Out for Women or Education Week, but it never quite works out.

So I follow the goings-on on blogs or Twitter or the web.

Selected transcripts are available from this year and past years.

Catch the BYU TV broadcasts. (Their server is a bit buggy...hopefully it will work for you.)

BYU Women's Conference Photos were posted by some attendees.

Of special interest is the talk given by Julie S. Beck rebroadcast on May 19th (7-9 pm) titled “Faith and Values”.

It is really quite inspiring and has inspired the theme for our upcoming Relief Society Meeting on June 8th. She talks about calling this “emergency meeting” because she feels so strongly—a great urgency—about the topics she discusses.

Take some time to listen and be lifted.

e

Video: The Remarkable Women of God

In keeping with our theme of honoring the mother in all of us this month:

“When the real history of mankind is fully disclosed, will it feature the echoes of gunfire or the shaping sound of lullabies? The great armistices made by military men or the peacemaking of women in homes and in neighborhoods? Will what happened in cradles and kitchens prove to be more controlling than what happened in congresses? When the surf of the centuries has made the great pyramids so much sand, the everlasting family will still be standing, because it is a celestial institution, formed outside telestial time. The women of God know this.” -Elder Neal A. Maxwell, 1978 April General Conference



Let us all resolve to do what we can to strengthen families and homes.

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Get a Single's Perspective

The May theme is “mothering”, not mothers, not married women, not angel mothers, but mothering meaning caring deeply about another person and wanting to be there for them. Tapping into those feelings of compassion, friendship, and love and belonging that we all need and that we can provide. That is at the heart of what Relief Society is or can be.

So with that in mind I've been looking for insightful writings that will help us all. This one on being single was particularly insightful.

In this post titled All the Single Ladies there are many comments about the ups and downs of being single in the church. It made my heart hurt.

Why aren't we all a little more sensitive to one another, woman to woman, and caring for one another, being the friend or even the mother we all need?

I know that I have (usually innocently) said things that hurt others, without thinking. I could kick myself. This post reminds me, and us, to be more sensitive. Do read the comments too and see a new perspective.

One comment (#28) in particular was very helpful and hopeful. Let me know what you think about the whole Single Ladies comments or about this one in particular.

I was married older than the normal Mormon age. In fact I left BYU *gasp* unmarried. Honestly… husband hunting like all the girls in my freshman year… was so not for me. I was too busy pursuing education for a career. I also found bribing boys with plates of chocolate chip cookies…a bit degrading. I thought the boys should be bringing me cookies. ;-)

When I finally did get married – my hubby and I were in a ward labeled “newlywed” and “nearly dead”. We had a lot of women in the ward who were very young, didn’t graduate school, and had a litter of kids running around. I was working in a career with no kids at the time…and felt completely out of place.

While this doesn’t even compare to the loneliness of being single… I discovered that if I was honest, I felt superior to those women with my degree, my business trips and my freedom sans kids.

At the same time I would complain how they weren’t inclusive, didn’t know what to talk about except diapers, ignorant, etc. etc.

Then I discovered… the tried and true action I have had to repeat over and over… I had to reach out first. Once I started doing that… things opened up…maybe not with everyone, but with a few choice women I still adore.

It doesn’t matter if we’re married, single, widowed, grandmas… we can all get together for girls night out – dinner, movie, book group. I have friends of all ages, sizes, ethnicities and situations in life. I actually prefer people who are not my age, not in my same situations because I am able to learn MORE from them.

Now that I have children, I work hard at making sure my conversations are filled with more than just the stuff of kids. Don’t get me wrong…I can babble all day long about my girls – BUT I also like to talk about other things…and I admit, it is hard to find women like that.

I also think if we’re preoccupied with one aspect of who we are–we lose the opportunity to let ourselves define who we are. Sure I’m a mom, a wife, a friend…yada yada – but I am a woman first…and that means I create who I am, I decide my attitude, my reach or my stumbling blocks.

I’ve moved into wards where no one reaches out… so I find that my role in life is to be that new person that reaches out…and then continue to be the old person that reaches out…it’s my lot in life.

I miss Sheri Dew… I miss the example she was for all of us… not as a single woman – but as a strong woman with purpose, struggles and faith. She’s the kind of woman I want to hang out with…

QueenScarlett

Yes, let's reach out to one another.

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