Building "A House of Order"-- Recap of our February Quarterly RS Activity! Part 1

On February 11, we met as Relief Society sisters to learn and discuss ways in which to create a more peaceful, orderly home. Margie gave a wonderful lesson including counsel and guidance from church leaders about how organization, order, routines, provident living, and living within our financial means all work together to create a more spiritual, peaceful home. When we examine these aspects of our lives, we can see how the temporal and spiritual are intertwined and greatly influence the other. As we strive to seek Heavenly Father's help and follow counsel provide by church leaders, we can have homes that serve as our own temple and refuge from the outside world. 

Sisters shared great input and thoughts, including the need to be flexible and embrace the disorder and chaos that is bound to happen while children are young and growing--as this shows the joy and happiness that children bring to our homes and lives! Children can learn from parents what it means to create order in our homes, and there are great teaching moments in daily living that will help prepare children for creating their own house of order some day.

Lastly, we were reminded not to be so hard on ourselves!! We do the best we can do---and that's all we can do! We can be a little better and try a little harder each day. As we trust in Heavenly Father and rely on Him, we will be able to achieve the balance we need to create the type of home we would like to have. As we put our own lives in order, we will then have more opportunities and greater means to reach out, serve, and help those around us. Having a peaceful, Christ-centered home will lead us to want to help others have the same experience!

Here are tips from our very own sisters--ways that can help us have more organized, orderly homes. Thanks for sharing!!

“A House of Order”

Organizational Tips From VF1 Relief Society Sisters

Trudy Cook

Since I first got married, 53 years ago this August, I have made tentative menus, meal planners for a week, month or whatever.  It was usually based on how we were paid.  It was a way of knowing what we were going to eat.  For seven days, I might say:  beef, fish, chicken, pork, no meat, lamb  optional.  I did this because, just starting out, it was overwhelming to figure out what to cook.  Then I'd make a meal plan, and my shopping list was generated by the recipes I would cook.  It took all the craziness out of what  we were going to eat.  It included breakfast, lunch, dinner.  Once you get the hang of it,  it doesn't take long and it saves on trips to the store and makes cooking easier.  It is quite cost effective, as you only buy what you need.  It saves lots of time in and out of the kitchen. I used the word tentative, because I never had to cook a meal.  If I didn't want to cook, I didn't, but I was always prepared.  I think it helped me to learn to like to cook.

Kim Wilson

1. De-clutter -  I've learned that the easiest way to keep a clean house is to get rid of things.  I didn't realize it, but every item I owned took a little bit of my time.  I recently went through a giant purge and got rid of 8 bags of items I never use in my kitchen.  I had so much more space, and I haven't missed any of it in 8 months.  Next, I went through the games.  I noticed after I got rid of half of them, my kids actually played with the games we had a lot more.  I guess having so many stuffed in the closet was overwhelming to them, so the simplicity actually helped them play with them more.  Last, I went through the toys.  I had the kids pick their absolute favorites, then, I got rid of 5 bags of toys.  Once again, my kids started playing with the toys more and didn't miss any of the ones we got rid of.  I was shocked.  After these three things, the time I spent cleaning each week was cut down by half!

 2. Christmas every 3 months - I have another friend who takes out one box of toys at a time, then every 3 months or so, she puts them away and pulls out another box.  It makes it exciting for the kids to get new toys to play with and there is so much less to clean up.

 3. The miracle cure to laundry - Our current apartment is a little small for our family, so out of necessity I had to put the kid’s dressers with their clothes in the basement.  (I thought about doing this in the past, so I'm glad I've finally been able to test it out).  I can't believe how much easier it has made my life.  Their rooms stay clean for one (which is a miracle), their clothes are all right next to the washing machine so it's easy to throw them in, and after they are washed, they sort out their own clothes and put them directly in their drawers.  No transporting, folding, transporting, and then putting away.  I finally feel like laundry isn't taking over my life!

Patty Cabot

In terms of organization tips, I have become a list master to try and tackle those crazy things that seem to linger and never get done. I make a few kinds of lists of things to do, e.g.house projects, travel plans, etc. I have my regular weekly planner. In that I put things that must be done at the start of each week.  Then I take a look at my other lists of things that would be nice to get done someday and see which if any I can fit in during that week. This helps me to prioritize. Even one check, each week, off the lingering list helps

Sheryl  Jackson

- I put socks divided by color or white in a linen/mesh bag that zips shut so I never lose a sock.

- Don't let clean dishes sit in the dishwasher over night.

- Put baking soda in the bottom of the trash can (just a little) and change it about every 3 to 6 months. Pour it down the sink to help with the drain smell

- soak dress shirts in the washer with water and oxi clean powder for 1 to 3 hours before washing to get out sweat stains on neck and sleeve cuffs, then drain and wash as you normally would

- drink a glass of water before you eat a meal

Deb Chiapelli

Attached is a picture of something that has made my life easier this year. It is a file I keep on my kitchen counter to take care of paper clutter/mail. I file it right away so I don't have piles of paper sitting around. Then, I can go back and go through it, when I have time. I think you can see some of my categories. In addition to the ones you can see, I have a folder for Bob, me, and the pets.

Sarah Kinghorn

Here are a couple of things that work for me when I do them. The operative word here is WHEN.

a) Wake up and get ready before the kids are up. The days where I am able to read my scriptures (even for a few minutes), make my bed, get dressed, etc. go a lot smoother than when I don't.

b) Meal planning - I've tried to do monthly, but weekly seems to get done more often. It's nice to know what you're going to be having for dinner before 5 p.m. ;)

Also, in this vein I've started making dishes and freezing half of them for another time. Prep work is done for 2 meals. Yeah baby!

c) Planning at night for the next day. I usually just jot down what I want to accomplish - phone calls, errands, chores, etc.

d) I just started exercising again on November 1st. I've found that my day goes smoother if I go straight to the gym after getting Lucy and Andrew on the bus in the morning.

Owenna Nagy

I can't allow myself to leave the house in the morning until one load of wash is in.  What is most helpful for me is to broadly sketch out the week.  If I know what day I will take care of "X", then I don't have to stress over it today.  Then I simply make a To Do list for the day, in broad order of priority.  The list helps me take advantage of "butterfly moments", which otherwise would flutter by with nothing accomplished.

Donna Kneeland

To keep my cooking to a minimum I ask for restaurant gift cards for birthday, Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Christmas, even resorted to Grandparents Day so the cards keep comin’ in so I can keep eatin’ out.

Chris Terrell

I keep a lot of files for different things and I label the outside so I know what is inside when I pick them up.

Devon Linn

We try to give things away if we haven't used them/worn them in one full year (so I get out all my favorite platters once a year to keep them safe).

Each of the kids has a cute, labeled bin that they put their papers from school in. I sort through them about once a week so that at the end of the year only the "favorites" can be kept and put in their school memory books.

I make the kids update their own school memory books for each year on the last day of school. (Not homemade book, store-bought ones that ask questions and have spots for pictures and things).

Label-maker, label-maker, label-maker! It is definitely one of my favorite possessions, and labels on things help tons once everyone in your house can read them because who doesn't like to put things in the place with the label?

Liz Latey

Have separate tote bags packed the night before for your next day's activities. (Bag for gym, bag for kids during doctor appointment, bag for library trip, bag for kids’ sport activity etc). Line up the bags in one central location, so you can grab and go when things are hectic. This helps you mentally go through what you need the next day, as well as gives you time to prevent last minute "emergencies" like an unwashed uniform b/c you've prepared ahead of time.

Crockpots are your best friend, when you've got a busy day--saves you time & money ... and helps your family eat healthier than fast food on the run!

Katie Price

Always do the dishes before bed.

I always grocery shop on Mondays and make it last the week, writing a complete grocery list before I go.

I make our lunches the night before.

Jill Fulop

I have all the kids’ lunches, outfits, outerwear, shoes, backpacks, hairbrushes, squirt bottles, aquaphor for chapped lips, tooth brushes and paste ready at night, so when I wake up in the morning, all I have to do is pop a few fridge items (already prepped), in their bags and make sure they get dressed at the right time (gather up outfit, shoes and outerwear from their individual pile). Usually, I have quite a leisurely morning with no stress. They eat, brush teeth, get dressed, grab backpacks and are out the door.

Ellen King

The thing that's currently helping me the most is having groceries delivered. We use the app Peapod, (which orders from Giant), to build our grocery list. Then we schedule delivery, in a range of hours on a certain day. We have until midnight the day before to add to the list. They app remembers each order and can build a list for us. You can sort by "aisle", lowest price, price per unit or by ingredient like gluten-free. Wade loves this because he can get what he wants when he needs it instead of waiting for me to get to the store. There is a small delivery fee (free for the first 90 days) and we include a driver tip with the order. It's so convenient.

Vermena Lee

Each day I have an assigned chore, i.e. M/W/F laundry, Tue grocery shopping, Thu clean master bath, F wash kitchen floor

2013 I printed out a 12 month calendar and wrote down dinner menus (I go shopping by my menu) and this year I’m using it. So I have a year’s worth of dinners.

Margie Clark

A wise woman once told me, “Never pick up something twice.  When you pick something up, put it where it belongs”.

Laundry – Fold each load as it comes out of the dryer.  Then, the clothes don’t pile up to an overwhelming mound.

~~Stay tuned for following posts including the Budgeting Info and Freezer Meal recipe used during our activity!~~

Family Work

Oh, what do you do in the summertime, when all the world is green?

Those of you who are currently with young ones at home and out of school, your answer might be like mine….trying to be patient, loving, and to keep the TV/media stuff off for as long as possible!

One thing that I have really been pushing this summer is to teach my children how to work, and there are days that it just does not go over well around here. I have been baffled at how my children can become so lazy & whiny the moment I mention it’s time to work on their chores. Honestly, I was at a complete loss and had turned to the Lord for some major help in the patience department when Owenna e-mailed me an article she had been telling me about that her sister Kathleen (who is a professor...) wrote for BYU Magazine.

The Article is entitled, “Family Work,” and gave me a lot of food for thought. In the article, Kathleen Slaugh Bahr discusses the differences between her childhood growing up working TOGETHER with her family, and the ways that we now try to make our children work. She states:

People who see the value of family work only in terms of the economic value of processes that yield measurable products--washed dishes, baked bread, swept floors, clothed children--miss what some call the "invisible household production" that occurs at the same time, but which is, in fact, more important to family-building and character development than the economic products. Here lies the real power of family work--its potential to transform lives, to forge strong families, to build strong communities. It is the power to quietly, effectively urge hearts and minds toward a oneness known only in Zion.

Kathleen then discusses the role of work from the beginning with Adam and Eve, on through the ages to the major changes in our expectations that have come to us in the last century. Along with understanding the role of family work, she also discusses some by-products that come with working together.

Ironically, it is the very things commonly disliked about family work that offer the greatest possibilities for nurturing close relationships and forging family ties. Some people dislike family work because, they say, it is mindless. Yet chores that can be done with a minimum of concentration leave our minds free to focus on one another as we work together. We can talk, sing, or tell stories as we work. Working side by side tends to dissolve feelings of hierarchy, making it easier for children to discuss topics of concern with their parents. Unlike play, which usually requires mental concentration as well as physical involvement, family work invites intimate conversation between parent and child.

We also tend to think of household work as menial, and much of it is. Yet, because it is menial, even the smallest child can make a meaningful contribution. Children can learn to fold laundry, wash windows, or sort silverware with sufficient skill to feel valued as part of the family. Since daily tasks range from the simple to the complex, participants at every level can feel competent yet challenged, including the parents with their overall responsibility for coordinating tasks, people, and projects into a cooperative, working whole.

Another characteristic of ordinary family work that gives it such power is repetition. Almost as quickly as it is done, it must be redone. Dust gathers on furniture, dirt accumulates on floors, beds get messed up, children get hungry and dirty, meals are eaten, clothes become soiled. As any homemaker can tell you, the work is never done. When compared with the qualities of work that are prized in the public sphere, this aspect of family work seems to be just another reason to devalue it. However, each rendering of a task is a new invitation for all to enter the family circle. The most ordinary chores can become daily rituals of family love and belonging. Family identity is built moment by moment amidst the talking and teasing, the singing and storytelling, and even the quarreling and anguish that may attend such work sessions.

And at my house, there has definitely been some quarreling and anguish, but I’m hoping to dwell more on the part about building love and unity. Without actually copying the entire article here (because there are so many gems that I loved), I’ll leave you with just a few more of my favorite paragraphs that came from some of Kathleen’s research.

A frequent temptation in our busy lives today is to do the necessary family work by ourselves. A mother, tired from a long day of work in the office, may find it easier to do the work herself than to add the extra job of getting a family member to help. A related temptation is to make each child responsible only for his own mess, to put away his own toys, to clean his own room, to do his own laundry, and then to consider this enough family work to require of a child. When we structure work this way, we may shortchange ourselves by minimizing the potential for growing together that comes from doing the work for and with each other.

Canadian scholars Joan Grusec and Lorenzo Cohen, along with Australian Jacqueline Goodnow, compared children who did "self-care tasks" such as cleaning up their own rooms or doing their own laundry, with children who participated in "family-care tasks" such as setting the table or cleaning up a space that is shared with others. They found that it is the work one does "for others" that leads to the development of concern for others, while "work that focuses on what is one's 'own,'" does not. Other studies have also reported a positive link between household work and observed actions of helpfulness toward others. In one international study, African children who did "predominantly family-care tasks [such as] fetching wood or water, looking after siblings, running errands for parents" showed a high degree of helpfulness while "children in the Northeast United States, whose primary task in the household was to clean their own room, were the least helpful of all the children in the six cultures that were studied."

In a world that lauds the signing of peace treaties and the building of skyscrapers as the truly great work, how can we make such a big thing out of folding laundry? Gary Saul Morson, a professor of Russian literature at Northwestern University, argues convincingly that "the important events are not the great ones, but the infinitely numerous and apparently inconsequential ordinary ones, which, taken together, are far more effective and significant."

Don't you love that last part?  I truly believe it. I know that building character is going to take more than just one day, and that the "infinitely numerous and apparently inconsequential moments" may be the most important thing I can do for my children (I just wish they'd believe me if I told them that).

I think I’ll put more air in my inflatable bag of patience…I’m going back in for another round of family work, and this time I think I’ll join in with the kids and we’ll work together! No matter how tough it gets, it’ll be worth it, right?

Thanks Owenna for the link! (And is it any wonder that this educated & gifted author is related to our dear, wise Owenna? ;) Read the whole article here. It’s worth your time!

Devon
Image Credit

RS Activity: Get Organized

Devon's vertical file

Tuesday evening we enjoyed the talents of VF 2nd ward's Tammy Small. She is a professional organizer and shared with us her method of keep her home in order.

She has gleaned ideas from many books over the years but especially likes Confessions of an Organized Homemaker, by Deneice Schofield. [I just read Throw Out 50 Things, by Gail Blanke and highly recommend it too.]

How to start organizing your home
She starts by defining the function of the space. Do you need a drawer full of hubby's tools in the kitchen?

Next choose centers for each space. A baking area in the kitchen, a bill-paying area, etc.

Get 5 bags or boxes and label them.
1. Stays based on the function.
2. Throw away.
3. Give away, donate, sell (only if you really will do it).
4. Not sure.
5. Elsewhere.

Start in one corner of the room and work your way around filling up the boxes/bags. Don't stop to take something to another room. You might get distracted. Tammy does this once or twice a year. She says you'll find you have extra cupboard space.

Tame paper avalanche
One specific example, children's artwork and papers: Display the latest pic on a "clothesline" with clothes pins. Put other papers in a box. When the box is full (or at least twice during the school year) sit with the child and let them choose their favorites to keep. Take a picture of your child with their social studies poster or science fair project for the memories, then toss the item. The idea is to sincerely validate and praise, then give them choices but within a limited space. The same goes for collections, hubbies hobbies, the garage, etc.

She had some great stories to tell and we're glad she came! Thanks Tammy!

Strawberry shortcake made for a delicious ending. Thanks Charity!

e

Developing Your Talents for the Lord

Here is an excerpt from Sister Beck's remarks that she recently gave to an assembly of Relief Society sisters in Idaho about how we can develop our talents for the Lord (Thanks Ellen for your previous link to this article!).  I loved this story she told about Sister Ruth Funk.  These are Sister Beck's words:

Last week I went to the funeral of Sister Ruth Funk, who was the general Young Women president when I was a Young Woman. Sister Funk was an amazing, talented woman.

When she was a young woman, Leopold Stokowski, the famous pianist, traveled to Salt Lake. He happened to be staying in the home next to her family’s home. Sister Funk was a talented pianist and her father had told her if she could master a certain Chopin piece, he would buy her a grand piano. At age 14, she had just earned that piano.

So now she’s listening to this world-famous artist play the piano in the home next to hers, and he’s playing the same piece she just learned to earn her piano. So she went and sat on the porch and listened to him.

When he came out, he said, ‘What are you doing here?’

She said, ‘I’m just listening to you practice. It’s interesting, but I struggle on the same passage as you do.’

He said, ‘You don’t play that piece. I’m the only person I know who can play that piece.’

She said, ‘Oh, I’ll play it for you if you like.’

She did, and he invited her to go to New York City and be his personal student at no charge.

This was something that became a matter of prayer in the Hardy family with her father and mother and her. They fasted and they prayed. She received a priesthood blessing. In that blessing, she was told, ‘If you go to New York and pursue this career, you will leave the Church, and you will give up the promise and the blessings Heavenly Father has for you, and that you covenanted to make before the world was.’ And she didn’t go.

She graduated from East High School in Salt Lake City, she graduated from the University of Utah, she went to Chicago with her husband as a young woman. There the director of the symphony in Chicago asked her if she would come and travel with the symphony and solo with them. She said it was the greatest trial of her life to have this gift and not do the things she dreamed of doing.

I think of how the Lord used her to help build up His kingdom. She not only served as the Young Woman general president, but she served for over a decade on the Church Correlation Committee and knew prophets and apostles by name. President Monson spoke at her funeral and commended the work and the faithfulness of her life. Her grandchildren said the crazy thing was that she probably spent as much time doing Church work as she would have if she had been a concert pianist. She was away from home a lot, serving the Lord.

She recognized that the Lord owned her gift, and He could call upon it to do whatever He desired to do.

Isn't that a remarkable woman, to give up her "dreams" for the Lord?  I love it, and it makes me want to look inside myself and ponder what I am willing to give up for the Lord.

If you haven't had a chance to read Sister Beck's remarks, you can read more of them here.  Enjoy!

Devon
 
Image Credit

"Oil in our Lamps" Activity Recap

Our Relief Society Quarterly Activity was held last week, and it was a wonderful evening!  Here is a recap:

Our theme for the evening was "Oil in our Lamps," and after enjoying a light dinner of "girl" food (chicken salad sandwiches on croissants, fruit, cheesecake and cookies), we got to hear from a few of our Relief Society sisters to inspire us for the evening.

First, Charity Wolf introduced the topic for the evening, and briefly told the parable of the 10 virgins, as told in Elder Robbins' conference talk, "Oil in our Lamps."  She explained that as member of the church we are the 10 virgins, we are all invited to the wedding, but only 5 of us will be wise and the other 5 of us will be foolish.  Now is the time in our lives to choose to fill our lamps with oil in different ways, and by setting goals in different areas of our lives we can continue to prepare for our Savior's coming.  There are many ways that we can add oil to our lamps, but for the evening we focused on three areas:  Personal goals, Physical goals, and Spiritual goals.

Jennie Boyer taught us about the first area of setting personal goals.  She emphasized that she feels that we don't need to push ourselves too far in goal-setting, but just do what we can at our different stages of life.  For her lately, getting to take a shower feels like she's accomplished a lot, so we need to be aware of our situations. Some of the other advice Jennie had for us was:

• Start Somewhere.  If you never start, you'll never get where you want to end up.  One good example is scripture study!
• Do Something that scares you (don't avoid attempting something just because you're afraid to try.)
• Don't Expect Perfection
• Shoot for 80%.  This is something Brother Behunin lives by.  If you can accomplish 80% of what you want to do, then you'll end up getting a lot accomplished in a lot of areas.  That's much better than 100% in one area, and nothing in others.
• Just start with the small and simple things - they add up quickly!
• Getting organized in our lives makes us more efficient, and then we can accomplish a lot more in the same amount of time!

Sara Fultz then discussed how physical goals enable us to house the spirit of the Lord.  She beautifully explained that our physical bodies are temples of the Lord, and by treating them as such our spirit and body can become our united "Soul."  Other things she mentioned are:

• Endurance lessons we learn from enduring through physical exertion can teach us to endure in all areas of our lives and will help us endure spiritually hard times.
• Lesson: If you really want to change, it has to hurt.
• Quote from Elder Nelson:  You may have heard the expression "mind over matter." I would like to phrase it a little differently: "spirit over body."  That is self-mastery.
• Self-Mastery allows our spirit to govern our body
• Our bodies are submissive to our spirits as we develop, strengthen and nourish them.  It’s a counter intuitive that we would have to focus on our body in order to lose ourselves in submissiveness to our spirits.
• The Spirit speaks as things really are.  The world distorts those things - especially body image.
• Satan will never have a body, and so he tries to disconnect us from ours.
• The Word of Wisdom is a temporal law given to aide our spiritual vision and knowledge that we need to fight the craftiness of Satan’s work in the last days.

Amanda Hall was our last speaker, and she taught about how we can increase the oil in our spiritual lives.  She re-enacted the object lesson of trying to fit too many objects into a vase on top of sand, only it won't all fit if you put in sand first.  But when we put the important things first, then the sand pours into the cracks and everything will fit.  When we prioritize and put the essential things that enable us to receive revelation first in our lives, then we will find that more things fit into our schedules.  She told us how much of a difference studying the scriptures (as opposed to just reading them) can really impact our lives for the good and enable us to receive Revelation.  "When you want to talk to God, you pray.  When you want to hear what He has to tell you, read your scriptures."  There are so many different things we can do to enhance our scripture study.  We need to find what works to motivate us because when we feast on the words of the Lord, they will change us and make us valiant!  Here are some of her ideas we can try to enhance our scripture study:

• Pray FIRST, then ponder and listen.
• Better than take 5 minutes a day than 3 hours once in awhile.
• Family Scripture Study
• Write in a journal
• Visualize the scriptures to remember them
• Use Institute Manuals (found online)
• Read whole Book of Mormon highlighting one specific topic (like love, Charity, the Atonement, etc.)
• Use note cards to jot down notes.
• Memorize scriptures so that they'll always be with you (the Scripture Mastery ones from Seminary are always good).
• Highlight different topics with different colors.
• Looking up words we don't know in Bible Dictionary, Topical Guide
• Actually check the cross references and study them.
• Get an old copy of scriptures and cut out the pages, glue them into a notebook.  Then you can write your notes around the edges and have a lot more room to "rewrite" what your feelings and questions are.
• Ponder!  Think about what you're reading and apply it to yourself.
• Study along with Gospel Doctrine or Institute classes schedules so you can discuss what you're reading with the class.
• Use some of the great new technology out there!  There are so many great apps for phones and things to help us study the scriptures wherever we are!

We can all choose to make and keep goals so that we can be "wise" and prepared for our Savior's coming, and we truly thank all the sisters who taught us so beautifully this evening.  The spirit was there as they bore testimony of the things they knew to be true and we were all strengthened as sisters.

After the meeting portion, we joined together as sisters in a service activity.  We tied two fleece blankets for two sisters in our ward in hospitals who are unable to come to Sunday meetings due to health issues. This strawberry blanket was made for Sister Christina Ervin, whose nickname is "strawberry."

We made this green, blue, and brown floral blanket is for Sister Emily Brown, and she loved it and says "Thank You to everyone!"

 
We hope these sisters can feel the love our Relief Society has for them when they use these cozy blankets during the cold winter!

It was a wonderful evening of sisterhood chatting, eating, and feeling the spirit. We missed those of you who couldn't make it, and hope to see you next time!

Lesson Recap - Change

Lesson: IMPLEMENTING CHANGE IN OUR LIVES
by Devon Linn
 

 

I AM NOT PERFECT….yet?

Are any of us perfect? I for one definitely am not, though I tell my husband that’s a good thing. Who wants to be married to someone who is absolutely perfect? It would make you feel so inadequate all the time being less than they are, right? So I tell my darling Milt that it's a good thing that I'm a little bit messy, because if I were neat then I would be absolutely perfect in every way!  He is so lucky to have such a messy wife!

Other than having a cleaner house, I think I probably have plenty of other things to work on. What’s great is that with the gospel, the Lord will help give us promptings telling us the ways we can improve in our lives and the changes we need to make if we have the Spirit.

I get these promptings all the time. Sometimes they come to me while listening to General Conference, or a lesson in church on Sunday, or reading my scriptures, and then I usually do try to be better for at least a few days but then….*poof* they're just gone and I've forgotten the prompting and moved onto something else I need to work on. And I don’t think I forget because I’m lazy or don’t really want to be better, but it’s more because life just seems to get too darn busy and my brain just has too much going on to remember everything (or sometimes anything at all!)

I’m sure everyone has failed at least once or twice to follow a prompting. Usually for me, it begins with listening to a lesson or a talk and thinking, “Yes! I can do that and be better! I can improve in my efforts to ______________ (fill in the blank: pray more, work on family history, judge less, prioritize my time better, study my scriptures, write in my journal, etc etc etc).”

But when it comes time to actually and consistently IMPLEMENT the change, I find myself too busy cleaning, doing laundry, working, paying bills, and other everyday things that I’m just so busy and exhausted that I’ve totally forgotten the prompting I received in the first place. Does this happen to everyone? Luckily the Lord knows and loves us, so he sends a lot of “reminder” promptings, because He just won't give up on us.

One of my favorite quotes to read when I feel overwhelmed at all the things I need to be doing is this one by Sister Beck:

 “Good women always have a desire to know if they are succeeding. In a world where the measures of success are often distorted, it is important to seek appreciation and affirmation from proper sources. To paraphrase a list found in Preach My Gospel, we are doing well when we develop attributes of Christ and strive to obey His gospel with exactness. We are doing well when we seek to improve ourselves and do our best. We are doing well when we increase faith and personal righteousness, strengthen families and homes, and seek out and help others who are in need. We know we are successful if we live so that we qualify for, receive, and know how to follow the Spirit. When we have done our very best, we may still experience disappointments, but we will not be disappointed in ourselves. We can feel certain that the Lord is pleased when we feel the Spirit working through us. Peace, joy, and hope are available to those who measure success properly.” – Julie B. Beck

Oh, if I could only read this quote every day! Sister Beck’s words are exactly what I constantly need to hear to re-commit myself to try harder and keep working in the right direction. It’s not important to be hard on ourselves if we aren't perfect already, but it is important that we are trying to improve ourselves every day.

I love that Sister Beck specifically mentions trying to develop attributes of Christ, because that goal seems to encompass all the other promptings I receive. I also love that she pointed out that doing our best still won’t keep disappointments away, because that’s just not how the plan works, but at least we won’t be disappointed in ourselves when we’ve followed the Spirit and done our best. I have felt the peace and hope that comes when we feel the Spirit working through us, and it is worth every effort I make to strive to feel that love and joy as often as I can while on this earth.

RESOLUTION TIME!

I don’t normally believe in Yearly Resolutions, but I whole-heartedly vote for having weekly ones that I think about during the Sacrament. Last year Ellen did a post on this RS blog on what our Resolutions for the year were going to be, and I actually thought about it and replied to her, thinking I’d give it a try. Sad to say…this week I had to go back to the blog to remember exactly what they were. I did remember that there was something about not yelling at my children, so that’s something!  And I do think I did better (minus maybe 10 days or so, give or take).

 

But I think the resolutions listed by other sisters were inspiring for me. They were things that seemed to be prompted not by the world, but by the Spirit. Read a recap of these here, because there were some goals that I thought were some great ideas. 

What are some of your goals/resolutions/changes you want to make?

Here are some of the things sisters mentioned in Relief Society:

• Pray more, better, more intently
• Be more in tune with the Spirit/more Spiritually Discerning
• Work on Family History
• Write Personal History/Journal
• Learn/Gain Knowledge
• Be Healthier
• Better Visiting Teacher
• Scripture study/Institute
• More Self-Reliant (work on food storage, 72-hour kits, etc).
• Prioritize time better
• NOT making lists & plans (obviously, this one applied to some of our proactive sisters, and does not apply to me. :)

PIECE OF CAKE, RIGHT?  Oh, wait...Obstacles?

It can be hard to change. When we are truly trying to change something that is really going to make an impact in our lives, that’s when the adversary seems to work the hardest on us. I love this quote by C.S. Lewis:

“Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. … You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. Christ, because He was the only man who never yielded to temptation, is also the only man who knows to the full what temptation means” (Mere Christianity [1960], 109–10). -C.S. Lewis

What are some of the things that are blowing against us? What is keeping us from making these inspired changes in our lives?  Here is a list of things sisters in Relief Society mentioned:

• Time!!!
• GUILT/Feelings of Inadequacy
• Habits
• Addictions/Natural Man
• Physical hardships
• Stress

I think guilt is really the one that sneaks in more often than we realize. We hear lessons like this and we immediately think, “oh, I've already failed so many times! I’m so terrible, and I just can’t change because I’ve already failed before!” You know if you are feeling a pit in your stomach right now about something that you want to change.  That icky feeling is not from the Lord.  Satan is the one that makes us feel bad about ourselves and inadequate.  "Good guilt" that comes from the Lord should be something you feel inspired about and feel hopeful that you can change, and should never make you feel terrible about yourself.

 

 All of these obstacles listed are real and hard, but I think the one that many of us need to overcome first is the guilt that we carry around with us. Then we can work on overcoming the others.

We need to start today by telling ourselves to stop looking back and feeling guilty and inadequate at our previous habits, but just focus forward and the change that we CAN make. We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, and we are free to act however we choose to act. If we want to change, no one can stop us. Satan throws negativity and guilt at us to try to keep us from reaching our divine potential, but he cannot stop us if we choose to change!

We are strong enough for self-control. We are Heavenly Father’s children, and he has sent us here with the capacity to overcome and accomplish great things.

Each of us is accountable for his own actions. How can any of us hope to play a great role in time or eternity if we have no power of self-control? Is overcoming self-control easier or harder than overcoming lack of time?

WHEN SHOULD WE START?  TODAY!

Donald Hallstrom of the seventy gave a talk a few years ago on procrastination, and in it he talked about one the most memorable “prophet-isms” from President Kimball:

"One of President Spencer W. Kimball’s effective encouragements was the succinct “Do It.” He later expanded this to “Do It Now” to pointedly teach the need for timeliness. President Kimball also taught the profound principle that procrastination leads to the loss of exaltation. He said: “One of the most serious human defects in all ages is procrastination, an unwillingness to accept personal responsibilities now. … Many have allowed themselves to be diverted and have become … addicts to mental and spiritual indolence and to the pursuit of worldly pleasure.” - Donald L. Hallstrom

Elder Hallstrom also said:

“We know what is right, but we delay full spiritual involvement because of laziness, fear, rationalization, or lack of faith. We convince ourselves that “someday I’m going to do it.” However, for many “someday” never comes, and even for others who eventually do make a change, there is an irretrievable loss of progress and surely regression.” - Donald L. Hallstrom

Doesn’t that make us realize that we really do need to be working and trying and moving in the right direction? We need to change, because as the quote from C.S. Lewis earlier talked about trials being like the wind, you cannot just stand still and hope to be going anywhere. We need to be moving forward, and improving, and becoming more like our Savior to bring about true joy in our lives here on the earth. And will it be easy? No. It will take some work. As Elder Uchtdorf puts it so perfectly:

"When our wagon gets stuck in the mud, God is much more likely to assist the man who gets out to push than the man who merely raises his voice in prayer—no matter how eloquent the oration. President Thomas S. Monson put it this way: “It is not enough to want to make the effort and to say we’ll make the effort. … It’s in the doing, not just the thinking, that we accomplish our goals. If we constantly put our goals off, we will never see them fulfilled.” -Dieter F. Uchtdorf

THE KEY TO REMEMBER:

The one thing that we have to remember is that we can do it because we have the Savior helping us with our inspired goals. Sister Beck reminds us in this quote how our resolutions really can be weekly ones we think about during the sacrament, and then we can repent and move on.

“It is not possible to make real change all by ourselves. Our own willpower and our own good intentions are not enough. When we make mistakes or choose poorly, we must have the help of our Savior to get back on track. We partake of the sacrament week after week to show our faith in His power to change us. We confess our sins and promise to forsake them.” -Julie B. Beck

One of my favorite scriptures is Philippians 4:13, which says, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” I know that that is true, and that the Savior wants to help us change for the better. He can do anything, and we are worth it! He loves us enough to help us overcome every trial, every bad habit, every addiction. And we can change whatever we don’t feel good about, because HE will be there with us. He is our Savior, and He alone can heal us from all imperfections. It won’t be easy, but we can do it.

Resolution/Goal Setting Time

One of the keys to reaching a goal is accountability. So it's time to look at where we were last year and own up!

These were mine...
Learn to play racquetball.  Didn't happen. I had a problem with my shoulder and elbow for a time and lost my enthusiam. I'm going to keep it on my life list, though.

Read more, write more. I feel fairly good about this one. I discovered free audio books and really enjoyed more books than I would have otherwise.
 
Pray more sincerely, more often, humbly on my knees. (This has been on my list for years.)  And will continue to be. I don't know anyone who is perfect at prayer.

All right...Chell, Owenna, Devon, Elizabeth, Sara, Jill Fairchild...report? Let us know how you did and what you would do differently. It's good to have plans (and friends who could help).

Here are 12 ways to Stick to Your Resolutions
1. Be specific. Don’t resolve to “Make more friends” or “Strengthen friendships”; that’s too vague. To make more friends as part of my happiness project, I have several very concrete resolutions like: “Start a group,” “Remember birthdays,” “Say hello,” “Make plans,” “Show up,” and “No gossip.”
2. Write it down.
3. Review your resolution constantly.
4. Hold yourself accountable.
 ...
7. Ask for help.
8. Consider making only pleasant resolutions.
 ...
11. Set a deadline.

See all 12 ideas here.

Good luck!

Are We Easily Guided?

When it comes to setting goals, this world champion isn't horsing around.

e

Mentoring Moms Google Group

Our Mentoring Moms Relief Society group meets once monthly to set goals and encourage one another. They have recently set a Google group so communication is easier. It is valley-forge-mentoring-moms [at] googlegroups [dot] com. Contact Aubrey Behunin to ask to be added to this e-mail list.

Find out more about the activities and what they are working on this month.

e

Are we there yet?

By Devon Linn

This probably won’t come as too much of shock to anyone, but I’m a still quite a few blocks away from perfection. I'm not expecting to be even close to perfect yet, but I keep hoping that I’ll see a sign somewhere that will tell me I’m at least getting a little closer on my journey (actually, something like the sign up above would be very helpful.) And luckily I don’t have to do it all on my own. The Lord helps continually by sending the Holy Ghost to let me know the ways I can improve in my life. But what can be frustrating at times is that I so often fail to follow these wonderful, divine promptings I receive that tell me what I need to fix. These promptings sometimes come to me while listening to General Conference, or a lesson in church on Sunday, or reading my scriptures, and then I usually do try to be better for at least a few days but then….*poof* they're just gone and I've forgotten the prompting and moved onto something else I need to work on. And I don’t think I forget because I’m lazy or don’t really want to be better, but it’s more because life just seems to get too darn busy and my brain just has too much going on to remember everything (or sometimes anything at all!)

I’m sure everyone has failed at least once or twice to follow a prompting (but just once or twice, right?). Usually for me, it begins with listening to a lesson or a talk and thinking, “Yes! I can do that and be better! I can improve in my efforts to ______________ (fill in the blank: pray more, work on family history, judge less, prioritize my time better, study my scriptures, etc etc etc).” But when it comes time to actually and consistently IMPLEMENT the change, I find myself too busy wiping peanut butter and jelly out of a 2 year old’s hair and simultaneously trying not to yell at my 3 year old who has just broken another lamp (true story) and I’m just so busy and exhausted that I’ve totally forgotten the prompting I received in the first place. Does this happen to everyone? Luckily the Lord knows and loves us, so he sends a lot of “reminder” promptings, because He just won't give up on us.

So when my wonderful visiting teachers came this week and read this quote from General Conference, it really hit home for me. It is from Sister Beck’s talk, and she said,

Good women always have a desire to know if they are succeeding. In a world where the measures of success are often distorted, it is important to seek appreciation and affirmation from proper sources. To paraphrase a list found in Preach My Gospel, we are doing well when we develop attributes of Christ and strive to obey His gospel with exactness. We are doing well when we seek to improve ourselves and do our best. We are doing well when we increase faith and personal righteousness, strengthen families and homes, and seek out and help others who are in need. We know we are successful if we live so that we qualify for, receive, and know how to follow the Spirit. When we have done our very best, we may still experience disappointments, but we will not be disappointed in ourselves. We can feel certain that the Lord is pleased when we feel the Spirit working through us. Peace, joy, and hope are available to those who measure success properly.

Oh, if I could only read this quote every day! Sister Beck’s words were exactly what I needed to hear to re-commit myself to try harder and keep working in the right direction. It’s not important to be hard on ourselves if we aren't perfect already, but it is important that we are trying to improve ourselves every day. I love that Sister Beck specifically mentions trying to develop attributes of Christ, because that goal seems to encompass all the other promptings I receive. I also love that she pointed out that doing our best still won’t keep disappointments away, because that’s just not how the plan works, but at least we won’t be disappointed in ourselves when we’ve followed the Spirit and done our best. I have felt the peace and hope that comes when we feel the Spirit working through us, and it is worth every effort I make to strive to feel that love and joy as often as I can while on this earth.

I love having the Gospel in my life, and I am truly grateful for promptings from the Spirit because I know I need to keep trying to be better. It can be hard to not let the world define success for us, but rather to let the Holy Ghost tell us when we have succeeded in our efforts to become more like Christ. I know that I won’t be able to reach perfection tomorrow or follow every good intention and good desire that I have, (in fact, probably by next General Conference time I’ll need another big kick in the pants to re-commit myself to implementing the promptings I receive again!), but I will keep pushing forward on my journey. Our Heavenly Father loves each of us, and He also NEEDS each of us to keep working hard to improve ourselves so that we can also help lift those around us. Women have the capacity to do so much good, and I am grateful to be surrounded by so many amazing women in the church, all who are on the same “road” so we can help each other on the journey!

If any of you has a suggestion on how you remember to implement changes you receive from promptings, feel free to use the comments portion to share your experiences. I'd love to hear other sisters' ideas on how we can be more successful in our efforts!

Reminders and Invitations

Hi, my friends!

We will be holding our next Service Group on: Wednesday, April 14, 11am, @ the church.

Bring a dish for the potluck lunch. Kids are welcome. Bring bikes, balls, etc. to keep them happy!  :)

Items needed for donation (new please):
- Newborn layette gowns or sleepers
- Receiving blankets
- Booties or socks

Thanks!
Margie
____________________

Hello Sisters,

I just wanted to invite all who are interested to come and join our Mentoring Moms group. We meet the first Wednesday of each month at my home: 4022 Runnymead Dr., Collegeville.

We are starting the program afresh TOMORROW at 10am. It is a great time to jump in, as is any time.

Mentoring Moms is a goal setting program for women. The name "mentoring moms" is mostly eye-catching. The program applies to all women at all stages of life. We set monthly goals and support each other as we strive to complete them.

Think Personal Progress for YOU!

We have had many great experiences sharing and learning from each other as sisters in the gospel.

Children are welcome.

Please let me know if you have any questions.

Aubrey Behunin
_____________________

Sisters,

I am going to the temple on Saturday, April 24, leaving a little before 7 am, and staying for two sessions.

I am meeting my sister-in-law (from western PA) there so we can do family file work.

I'm always looking for riders. It makes the trip so much more pleasant!

Please let me know if you are interested.

Owenna Nagy

January's Theme: Goal-Setting

No takers from my guest blogger invitations to write about resolutions and goals, so you get to hear from me one last time on goal setting. (It's not January anymore...I know, I know.)

#1: I’ve found that writing down your goals and sharing them with someone keeps them ‘top-o-mind’. So naturally when I saw this article it caught my attention because one of my resolutions was to read more. If that's one of yours read this article from the Huffington Post...12 Tips for Reading More.

#2: Make one small resolution and keep it today. Sing in the morning, make your bed, get more sleep. Just stick to it. Read a little more, but especially check out the videos.

Ellen

Mentoring Moms

 

Hi Everyone

We have almost made it through a year of Mentoring Moms already!  We will be starting afresh in April. We’d love for even more sisters come. You are invited!

Mentoring Moms is a goal-setting program for women. It provides support and recognition for women who desire to grow and improve. This is a morning out with a purpose!

Our meeting is held once a month, usually the first Wednesday, at 10 am at my house. Each month we focus on a different area of a woman’s life. Our monthly meetings include ideas and motivation to get you excited, along with an opportunity to select your own goal in the area we are focusing on.

The next month you can report to the group on your progress toward your goal. It is such a delight to share success stories with other women. The accountability and structure of the program are highly motivating, as moms mentor each other toward personal growth.   

Here are the topics: 

• The Inside Out Woman: Caring for Yourself So You Can Care for Others
• Enjoy Your Children!
• Time, Your Most Valuable Asset
• A Treasure Trove of Memories: Traditions and Keepsakes
• Love of Learning
• Feeding Your Family
• Beauty Treatments: Creating and Appreciating Beauty in Your Life
• A Basket of Blessings: What Can You Share with Others
• Keeping House
• Loving Your Husband
• Reach for the Stars: Beauty

Last thing...although the name of the group is “Mentoring Moms”, there is only one month where we focus on children. Even then there are many goal suggestions that are appropriate for all women. 

It has been such a fun group. We are all encouraging each other. I leave each meeting with renewed energy.

Best,
Aubrey 

Goals for the New Year

 I conceiv’d the bold and arduous project of arriving at moral perfection. I wish’d to live without committing any fault at any time; I would conquer all that either natural inclination, custom, or company might lead me into. ~Ben Franklin

This week I asked you to respond with 3 goals you’d like to accomplish this year.

I was humbled and inspired by your responses. Just knowing others are striving to improve themselves gives me courage to move forward.

Sharing that you have a weakness to work on is a strength in and of itself.

Sometimes we succeed, sometimes we don't. We all understand. I hope we can be each others best cheerleaders. 

Here are a few:

Ellen
Learn to play racquetball. (Anybody want to do this with me?)
Read more, write more. (A perennial favorite.)
Pray more sincerely, more often, humbly on my knees. (This has been on my list for years.)

Chell
1. Get printed and actually hang more of my photography.
2. Go on a real vacation, one that is not tied to a wedding, birthday or other family event.
3. Blog at least 6 times a month.

Owenna
My new Year's resolutions never change:  lose weight, be more faithful at scripture reading, improve the use of my time. I'm pretty clear on the fact that these are life-long struggles!

Devon
TRY not to raise my voice or yell at my children, unless they're about to run into the street. (This one is a revolving one I've had every year, until I finally master it)
Focus more on others needs rather than on my own.
Pray for Heavenly Father's will, rather than my own.

Sara Fultz
Be more prayerful, be more optimistic, be more charitable.
They are all related, huh!?
So, exercise, cook more, have fun with the kids.
Hmmmm, they all go hand in hand, the more I think!

Elizabeth
Lose weight.
Focus on uplifting thoughts.
Finish writing book and submit to at least 3 publishers.

Jill Fairchild
Prayer and scripture study every day.
Gospel Study with my husband 5 nights/wk.
Do some form of exercise 4 - 5 days/wk.

I know those of you in the Mentoring Moms group have monthly goals...do share!

These folks have shared their goals on their blogs. Inspiring!
Michelle Leighton
Lisa Stephenson 
Shannon Tripp
Lindsay Skinner

If you want to share your goals with us, there is still time. Either send them to me or post them in the comments below. We’d love to hear what you are working on.

Further reading:
6 Tips to Hold Yourself Accountable for Keeping Your Resolutions
How to Stick to Your Resolutions: 12 ideas (choose one or two)

Ellen

Photo Credit